Don't Say Goodbye
by Katlana Child
Summary: It's the night of graduation and the cadets are moving onto their desired military branches. Bertholdt, however, is not sure he's ready to let go.


**Before you guys read, please understand that there are SPOILERS from the MANGA ahead! Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy! ^^**

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She sat next to the lake, the moonlight glittering on its surface and resting on her face. He crept slowly, out of the thicket of woods, careful not to make a sound. He never saw her like this; so calm and peaceful. How could she maintain such a composure when he, himself, was shaking miserably? Tonight was their last night together before he and many of their friends would be deported to the frontlines. She, however, would be sent to the interior, the safest place on this desolate world.

She dipped her hand into the lake and studied the ripples with such intensity. He felt his heart ache. _Why_ , he thought desperately, _would she choose to abandon her friends for security?_ She was one of the best soldiers he had come to known, despite being ranked higher than her. She was silent, but methodical. Fast, but analytical. Her skills surely would have guaranteed her survival on the front, and yet she chose to retreat to the interior. He just didn't understand.

A twig snapped underneath his boot and she turned her head. "Huh?" she queried quietly, and the soldier held his breath, praying she would dismiss his presence. "I know you're there. Reveal yourself." she called out.

He quietly stepped from the shadows, embarrassed that he had been discovered. Even more so that Annie Leonhardt now knew he was spying on her. He approached her, sitting beside her and hiding his face. She had removed her harness and boots, placing the materials to the side. She threw her head back and looked at the stars. Bertholdt had seen this side of Annie before; the curious side. The side that thirsted for knowledge and excitement. He wished the other soldiers got to see this side of her as much as he had.

"Why are you here?" Annie asked, looking down momentarily to capture his gaze. When it proved unsuccessful, she resumed her previous position.

"I could ask you the same thing," Bertholdt answered. "Everyone is back at camp, preparing to depart for tomorrow. And you're here."

"And so are you." She shifted so she was now slouched, hugging her knees and looking towards her friend. "Spying on me."

His cheeks burned and he hid his face with his hands, causing her to release a light laugh. "I was looking for you," he admitted, but it all sounded like a lie. He had wondered where she had run off to, and since Reiner was far too busy disinfecting his nasty mess of a bed, he had decided to venture out alone. It would have been less awkward if he brought along a female friend, but everyone else at camp was dealing with their own issues. Although, he made it even more awkward by lingering in the shadows and watching. He sighed heavily. He was hopeless.

Annie continued to look at him, causing the soldier to become even more flustered. How was he supposed to come back after this? _I'm sorry I was spying on you. You just looked so...Gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes away from you. Why do you have to go with the Military Police? Stay here with us...With me!_ Too desperate, he thought. He couldn't let his raging, teenage hormones take control and prevent Annie from living her dream of being in the interior.

"Are you excited?" Annie asked quietly.

"To sign my life away?" Bertholdt responded and shook his head. "I'm terrified."

"Just remember why we're doing this, Bert." She reached across and held onto his hand. His blush only grew deeper, though the painful events that sparked this response from her reignited themselves in his memory bank. Of course. She wasn't doing this for her own good; she was doing it for the deviants they were associated with. He felt horrible for not seeing it at first.

"Yeah," he sighed and shook his head. "But...What if...What if we were doing this for ourselves? What if we were like the others? Would you have still signed up for the Military Police."

She released his hand and went back to hugging her knees. "It's hard to say, Bert." She looked ahead at the crystal lake before them. "If we were doing this with the same intentions as the others...I don't know if I would be brave enough to take on the Titans."

"You _are_ brave, Annie," Bertholdt assured quietly, reaching back for her hand. "You're really smart and incredibly bright. Between you, myself and Reiner...You've got the greatest potential to succeed."

Annie shook her head, pulling her hand away once more and standing up. Bertholdt anxiously scrambled to his feet as well, looking down at her as she turned away. "And what if I don't," she muttered. "What if I fail and everything we worked hard for and all the bad we've done...It amounts to no change. I'm just a kid, Bertholdt! You, Reiner and I are just kids, and they're expecting us to dismantle an entire nation!"

"For the better," Bertholdt added hopefully, but the look of worry on the young, blonde's face failed to fade away. He sighed. "I know what they're asking us to do is hard, but they promised us it would benefit our future. People like us will no longer be outsiders."

Annie turned to examine the much taller soldier before her. His usual awkward demeanor, accompanied by his nervous fidgeting and beads of sweat trailing like tears down his forehead never failed to comfort her. He had been there when they discovered what their mission was as a select few and he was there when she tried to break away from the higher-ups. As they beat her and spat upon her, calling her a failure to Titan-kind, he stood for her and took the rest of her beatings. He assured her things would be okay and in the end, their mission would succeed. There would be no more worry...No more fighting...No more killing.

And yet, she still worried.

"I care about you, Annie," Bertholdt breathed out into the silence. For a moment, her anxieties crumbled and she looked at the soldier with a mix of sadness and relief in her eyes. "Reiner and I care about you so much. You're our comrade and nothing will change that, whether it be failure or even success."

She was in stunned silence, her mind churning her thoughts and memories. The horror of failing had been the leash pulling her along, and Bertholdt had come and unhooked her from her burdens. She didn't like the people forcing her into this, but she cared a great deal for Bertholdt and Reiner. Hearing him confess that no matter what the outcome, he'd still consider her a comrade and friend caused her stress to melt into relief. She opened her mouth to voice her thoughts, however jumbled they may be, but a sharp whistle tore through the quiet, evening air. Bertholdt winced and she slowly closed her mouth.

"Lights out," Bertholdt muttered. Annie nodded and bent down to retrieve the rest of her discarded uniform. She slipped her boots back on and carried her harness underneath her arm. "I'll walk you back to your cabin," Bertholdt continued.

"Thank you," Annie responded quietly and fell in step beside him as they re-entered the woods, following a faded dirt path in silence back to their training camp. As they stepped out of the towering forest and onto the familiar grounds where they had spent the last three years of their life, they hesitated. Many of the cadets were now filing out of the mess hall and cabins to return to their beds for the night. Memories of their first days flooded their minds as they watched from the side. Finally, Annie continued forward.

They reached steps leading to Annie's cabin and stopped. They turned to each other, the silence embracing the two.

"I...Guess this is it," Annie said, moments later.

"It is," Bertholdt confirmed. "I mean, we still have guard duty with the Garrison Regiment tomorrow, but…"

"We have a mission to fulfill," Annie continued for him. This would be their last, quiet moment together. After tonight, they'd part ways, continuing their secret cause, but never again being able to sit by a lake or stand in front of a cabin with little worries. So many things would be left unsaid, but that was a risk she had to take. "I guess this is goodbye, then."

Bertholdt shook his head. "Not goodbye," he said. "Those are permanent. I don't want this parting to be our last."

Annie's heartbeat quickened, but she nodded slowly. "Of course," she muttered. "Then perhaps I should say I'll see you later."

A smile slowly spread across Bertholdt's face. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I'll see you later too. You'll be an incredible addition to the Military Police."

Annie nodded once more. "Thank you. I expect the Survey Corps will suit you well, too." She began walking up the steps and stopped at the top, turning back towards Bertholdt. "Good luck tomorrow."

Bertholdt swallowed heavily and nodded her way. "Th-thank you, Annie. You too."

She allowed a small smile to tug at her lips before she turned and entered her cabin, leaving him in the dark and drowning in his own thoughts. He heard footsteps approach behind him and a hand clasp his shoulder.

"Hey," Reiner said lightly. "It's bed-time, Bert. We've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."

Bertholdt, brought back into the cruel reality of their situation, nodded. "I guess so." They walked off together, towards their own cabin, still bustling with the noise of the rowdy boys they shared it with.

"I saw you talking to Annie," Reiner commented, "is everything okay?"

Bertholdt shrugged. "I'm not sure," he stated, "but she's strong. She'll pull through. She always does."

Reiner chuckled. "Of course she will. Now come on. Shadis will pummel us if he sees us out and about after the whistle."

And with that said, the soldier retreated into their shelter for the last time. Tomorrow, everything would change. Not just for them, but for the rest of humanity. Tomorrow, the world would feel the crippling punch of the Titans as they reigned their terror once more.

Tomorrow, Bertholdt would initiate the second phase of their mission.


End file.
